Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
