I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
