She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
