So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
