So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
