Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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