im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
