What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
