Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
