Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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