Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize