My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
