so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
