it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
