dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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