wake up i wanna do it froggy style
In America we eat man semen.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
