I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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