i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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