Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
