I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
