just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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