We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
