You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
