Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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