almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
