My brain says no but my pants say off.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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