Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Jerry, you need to find god
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think I am morally bankrupt
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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