My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
be right there i have to get my cape
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize