Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
