Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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