i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
