She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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