man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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