I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
