he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
