If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
