Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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