I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
