just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
