omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
