the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
