I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
