I smell stomach acid.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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