I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Randomize
