he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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