You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
