Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize