I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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