Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You are a genius and a whore.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
