I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I will pee on everything he values.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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