Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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