Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
lol hangovers are for mortals.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
