She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
