The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
