I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
