I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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