who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
