North Korea, Best Korea!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
