You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
