were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
