Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
