I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
