Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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