I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Come on in and take your pants off
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