hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
