So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you would pick up someone in the library
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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