Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
