my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
