it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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