I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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