They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
we should paint friendship bongs
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize